Back Lane Battleships (TM)

Today, it rained rather well, Vancouver style, in fact it still is. Joel and I have times when we enjoy the rain. If you've been around this blog for a while, you may remember "Rain never stops play". Well today we invented a brand new 'back lane rain game', to allow mom a little space to exist indoors without us throwing things at her and Ollie.

First we each select a sea (puddle) at least 10ft apart in the back lane. Into our sea we place our battleship (6-8" long, plastic boat, yellow in colour for good visibility). We each stand at least 1 foot behind our sea. The game is to kick a football (full size, English) at each other's boat. One hit=1 point.

Joel won, straight sets, 10-6, 5-2

on finding space

Dad: "so what were you planning to do after zooming cars in the kitchen?"
Joel: "I was wondering if you and me could do some playing together"
Joel: "I thought it would be good if we played in my bedroom, because there's space to walk in between stuff"

Dad tries to think calm thoughts as he gazes at the playroom floor and understands Joel's quite insightful and logical proposal.

the grim reality .. with a wishful thought

June 2008: rain, intensity, sickness, computer projects, continued busy-ness while desperately trying to balance the many aspects of life, losing my temper with the kids, not having quite enough fun, not quite supported enough to become the official Youth Unlimited Area Director. I'm not sure what I was expecting from June, but this one is taking its toll.

It's been such a privilege and a great time being youth pastor at PGCC/UTown, and it's obviously weird to consider moving on from it. But here we are, the end of another school year (only 7 more until Joel is officially part of the youth group!), and September will look different.

Mum and Dad come to visit at the end of the week, and I can't wait to get across to the Sunshine Coast for a few days of pebble throwing and 'peace' (as peaceful as one can be in our current stage of family life).

What I would really love to do right now is run away to a secluded house with amazing views, a grand piano and a fireplace, and write songs for 2 weeks. Do you think I could get away with it?

emotions

joel builds a "road" of chocolate cake directly on the table. he declined to use the plate when daddy "suggests" it. before the polite request even has a chance to become a command, joel turns to daddy with a compassionate look and says:

"daddy are you angry, are you sad, are you happy, are you tired?"
my rather post-modern response was "yes"

liz and tom catch each other's eye, consider together the realisation that those 4 emotions wonderfully capture the moment. we then ponder further and recognise that this interchange defines much of parenting.

"are you angry, are you sad, are you happy, are you tired?"
"yes"

joel's preschool is SO cool

Joel goes to the best preschool in the world. We get there early this morning, all four of us, to build a quick snowman in the park . lots of beautiful wet snowman snow fell last night. Joel was joined by a couple of other school friends to build, then we go inside. The teacher arrives and announces .. clear out the water table, bring in buckets of snow, let's squirt different coloured ink into it. Who cares about circle time right now this is fun .. then later we're going outside to build a HOOOGE snowman.

now THAT's the way to be the coolest teacher in the world with a bunch of 3 year olds.

angry .. pause .. haha .. profound

After a particularly anger-inspiring bath time with the boys, where neither of them acted in a way to fill me with joy and love and laughter, I was found growling in exasperation "G-a-a-a-a-w-d, who would be a father?"

To which the rather obvious, quiet, hilarious, and respectful answer was ..

.. "I would"

To England and back 2007

One of the things you do before emigration, is count the cost of return trips to the homeland. You will of course need to reserve the bulk of your vacation time every 2 years or so to visit family and friends, especially when some of them are unable to travel to see you. We counted that cost as a couple. To add a 2 yr old and a baby into that mix .. Oh My Word, does that ever take it to a whole new level of intensity.

joel enjoying an old(ish) building - the liverpool museum

We have survived a 16 day trip to England. Whether or not we are each in one piece is yet to be determined. The jet lag is lessening by the hour, but has had it's horrible times. Fighting off some sickness, and recovering from total overload of last week, we are steadily reaching planet earth again.

What an amazing trip it was! 3 major locations in England, more visits with more people than it is possible to list, some wonderful memories, some moments of pure joy, inclusion of a very special wedding, visits to great-grandparents, beach, playgrounds, city, country, all major supermarkets, youth events, 2 wonderful churches, old friends, new children, and some of the most divine food you can ever imagine. Tom is continuing to fantasise over Sainsbury's "taste the difference" stem ginger and treacle pudding with toffee and treacle sauce, with extra thick double cream. SPECTACULAR. Newly out, so I can't link to it on the sainsbo's site. If you are in the UK and haven't tried it yet, please do yourself a favour, and feel free to make me jealous with your opinion in the comments.

And do you know what's just totally weird .. we didn't visit a single pub! Stage of life has some influence of course, and who would seriously let Joel drink beer, come on! The fact that neither of us drink is a factor too. However is it actually a legitimate trip to England without crossing the threshold of a single hostelry? I feel totally embarrassed to admit it to the world, and am surprised they didn't challenge us at Heathrow on the way out. "How many times did you visit a pub sir? None? Are you serious? What gives you the right to leave the country, get out there and quaff a jar of real ale now you southern pooffter." If you are Canadian, you have absolutely NO understanding of what I've just written. Sorry about that :)

A wonderful trip, and now .. nice to be home .. at least it will be, once we're fully back in mind body and spirit!

cheap .. but oh so nice

Being cheap on valentines day .. i can't decide if that is really really bad, or true love. darcy made me think about it, so I have to post now. If you do spend a truck-load of money on your gal on valentines day what does that say about the rest of your year .. I mean really?

not sure of the answer, perhaps I'm the worst husband ever?

But i am truly proud of how much Liz and I enjoyed our 2-for-1 DQ blizzard sitting in the car looking at our gorgeous home city through a rain-covered windshield on a dark night on the beach. $3.99 plus tax. A pathetically cheap valentines.

I am proud of how much we enjoyed it. Thanks for the babysitting rosie, you rock.

how to tell someone's age and stage ..

How to tell someone's age and stage without meeting them .. check what's under the sofa cushions.

It just struck me an hour ago as I plumped the cushions for no apparent reason. When i was a student there used to be nothing but random housedust under the sofa cushion, because we all checked often in the hope of a coin or two to buy dinner. As you move into working life, you of course will always find coins there. Now moving into the kids zone I find nothing but food and crayons .. very disappointing.

I suppose one day I will be finding dentures, spectacles, and a random grandchild who's name I can't quite put my finger on. What's under your sofa cushions? Go check now.

surprised by moments of joy

So it really is about time I counteracted the last post which has sat there for far too long. Being a parent is really hard work, and frankly I'm not enjoying a lot of it. But one thing parenting 2 young boys does is focus you on those wonderful moments of joy. e.g. Joel in the bath in fits of giggles. Joel loads a small mound of bubbles onto the side of the tub, while Dad is poised with towel in hand. "Boom, Pah" says Dad as he brings the towel down onto the bath and wipes away the bubbles in one smooth motion.

Have taken some wonderful portraits of the two of them which I hope to share with you soon .. just need to pick out the best ones of the many hundred!!

I feel cheated

When we managed to take plenty of pictures of Joel as a baby, and managed to encourage and train him to write his blog, so many people said .. you've got to do your best to do the same for your second child. Of course we knew life would be so much busier with the second child, and we knew we'd have to try really hard to keep up the same level of photography and writing to preserve these special times and share with others. Oliver is here, and he's a fabulous baby who we would love to be sharing with the world.

This is the thing that nobody told me. It has almost nothing to do with parental effort and energy levels to achieve the same high standards of journalism. Sure, we knew it would be tough, and we were unlikely to repeat our efforts. But our efforts have been actively sabotaged by Joel to an extent that I did not believe possible.

Joel has managed with INCREDIBLE effectiveness to launch himself as a "journalism terrorist". He continues to be a fantastic older brother, a fun-filled, beautiful lovely son, a friend to many, and a brightener of lives. Joel is frankly gorgeous. We are proud of him as parents, and proud of our parenting.

But as I sit here and type after 1 hr 20mins of uncontrollable screaming, tantrum like behaviour, crying himself sick, clear disobedience, total clarity of expectations between 2yr old, mom and dad, and great aunt Jen (staying with us until Tuesday), and more stamina than I can possibly imagine from him. He is desperate to sleep, and yet defiance is so much more important.

He thwarts any attempt from three adults to work or rest or play.

For those that don't have two kids, you may read this and either despair at what is happening, or bring out some comment about the terrible twos. For anyone that has been here before, you know that this time of life is not in any way straighforward. Discipline and time-outs are no more a science than working out why a baby is crying. They are art. And an artist can never work under such stressful circumstances where energy is sapped. bummer. Survival by the hour, and digging into every ounce of depth of character that God has been gracious enough to grant us. Broken sleep, and an overwhelming span of work involvement just make the stress-induced teeth-grinding more pronounced. 2007's dental bill will be large, if there are any teeth left to work on.

To know that the season will pass is reassurance, but of course doesn't make a scrap of difference to how hard it is to keep going. Oh I didn't mention the unrelenting rain, the undrinkable water supply for 7 days so far, and the colds that 3/5ths of us are carrying .. but those aspects are almost insignificant. I'm not sure what to think of the similarities drawn by Jen between Joel's behaviour and his father's at the same age. At least I'm the nicest person I know, so he'll turn out OK.

I really am not a fan of cathartic blogging. I hope this is the last time I feel called to it. If you pray, pray for us. If you don't .. learn how, God is the best listener I know.

Rain never stops play pt2

if you've not read Rain never stops play pt1, you need to first.

Joel and I enjoyed a backlane development in the form of puddle boules (FR) or bocci (IT) the other day. The rain was not as torrential, but the puddle was on fine form. Essential ingredients were similar: water, wet weather gear, windfalls. Take it in turns to hurl apples toward each other in the hope of good bopping (splashing), and eventual destruction of apples. much fun. ollie and liz slept. unlike right now as i type this post one handed on his one week anniversary to the minute!

he is here

To quote Andrea Laing, I've gone from "being a parent" to "having a family". Two boys, two years separating them, the adventure continually unfolds.

Oliver is here (Thomas Oliver Matthew Sopwith), 9lb, Nov 3, 2006, 00.55. Adorable, incredibly good looking, and so far bringing us much joy and a bonus ration of sleep. This is where all you parents pipe up with "that won't last". Yeah, we know, but that doesn't stop us revelling in it so far. Time for a wonderful week of family time and nothing else .. yeah :o)

here's the oliver blog

Rain never stops play

If you're fortunate enough to be a native of one of those "truly civilised" countries, and then unfortunate enough for your national cricket team to play a test series in England, you will know only too well the phrase "rain stopped play". You have had to mourn as your team is forced to "draw" a match with an England team that would surely have been beaten to pulp by your fast bowlers (or outspun by Warne, if you're an aussie).

Well Joel and I have the perfect antedote to the pouring rain - "back lane rain cricket".

The autumn rains finally hit yesterday after a glorious summer, and we have a puddle that extends the whole 22 yards (the length of a wicket for all you Canadians .. the wicket being the length of grass between the two sets of wickets .. and a wicket is not the place you line up to get money in a bank .. it's the stumps and bails .. oh forget it, why do I bother trying to explain this!).

Anyway, picture a long puddle in the pouring rain. Joel stands in one end of it fully clothed in his rain gear and wellingtons (gum boots). Tom then obtains a windfall apple from the neighbours' tree, paces out, and begins the run in. He reaches the end of the puddle, firmly planting his left foot to cause an almighty splash. Over goes the arm to release a ball at 115 km/h, pitching just ahead of joel. The apple makes another almighty splash covering Joel. Much hilarious giggling from both boys.

It is a shame that Liz was not feeling so well, and the rain prevented photographic evidence. It was perhaps a little unfair not to give Joel a bat even for modest defence.

A sodden cyclist chooses to pass us in the lane. "teaching your boy about the joy of puddles, eh?". My reply: "he already knows all about joy, he's teaching me." That's my boy summed up.

taking a photo made me cry

Of course if you've never been a father, you have no idea quite the emotion that hits you when you see certain things. I was surprised at the tears welling up when I previewed this shot on my beautiful D50 while walking on the beach yesterday.

Given that split second again, there may have been a couple of adjustments to make to the shot .. but wow is it one of my favourite photos ever.


other favourite tom photos here